2020
As we were leaving 2019 and entering 2020, I was on my way back home from a journey I’ve been taking for the past three years during the same time. But this year leaving the same city felt different. There was a sense of heaviness as the plane was taking off. At the moment I thought the sense of heaviness was coming from a truth I didn’t want to believe. I thought during those moments that I was feeling uneasy because a person I believed in turned out to be everything I didn’t want to believe. And a friendship I wanted to hold onto so tightly, I had to convince to let go. But once I came home, the heaviness came with me. All of a sudden I realized we are living one of the most historical years in my lifetime so far. So many events have taken place since January 1, 2020. So much more than me and you. The world was on the brink of war, nations against nations. Then a virus came and the world came to a stand still. Nations fought side by side this time instead against each other. What I thought was a ordinary job turned into a heroic act for the public. While people were proud, I came home with more heaviness day by day with a sense of guilt that I can possibly get my family sick. And now we are in what seems like a civil war. A war that started years ago but never found peace. A war of races and humanity, a fight for justice. This week has been very heavy. As proud as I am of all the voices that have been speaking out against injustice, it breaks my heart watching what should be a birth right, given equality seem so expensive to achieve. 2020. It was supposed to be a new decade. We all imagined, planned and prayed for a very different picture. I’ve been feeling the loneliest I’ve ever felt but I’ve also been feeling a sense of closeness with the world. In this heavy six months of 2020, which seems like all of us in the world are carrying a bit of the weight on our shoulders, I hope we can take the since of loneliness, heaviness, pain and turn it to love. Love for each other, despite the differences. Despite of all our beliefs. If you feel a wave sadness, I hope you know there are people out there who care. I’m sending you all a virtual hug. One of those long tight soothing hugs where all the tiredness is taken away from you. Let’s pray for better days. Let’s pray and put our faiths in the hands of the One.
As always,
Love, Zahra
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